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(from Men's Health)
15 catch phrases you should quit saying

(1) "I meant to..." Translation: "I thought of you, and then immediately though of something better." It's not always the thought that counts.
(2) I'm sorry you feel that way." An apology doesn't need to be long or repetitious.  You just need to mean it, and acknowledge that you were wrong - not that someone thought you were wrong.
(3) "I'm not here to make friends." Reality-TV contestants say that to each other all the time.  Know when that attitude helps in the real world? Never.
(4) "It's a win-win." Say that and other people hear "I win and you lose, but you won't realize that for another 2 weeks when I'm nowhere to be found, so in the end, I win twice."
(5) "How much do I owe?" Long division is for the classroom, not the restaurant.  Pick up the check once in a while and you won't feel guilty when your friends do it.  It all evens out.
(6) "Here's what you should do." Girls are right: you don't have to fix every problem.  Listening is its own form of help.  So let him/her vent, and offer direction only if they ask, "What should I do?"
(7) Anything you scream over live music.  We're not sure why you're at the show if you're not listening, but rest assured everyone else paid $100 to hear "Jungleland," not what you had for dinner.  And when you scream into somebody's ear, it hurts.
(8) "Cheers!" It's like a British car on U.S. roads: ill-fitting and dangerous.
(9) "Oh, I know. That's like when I ..." When a person's telling a story, this is not an invitation to break in with your own anecdote.  Your pal has the floor.  When it's your turn, you'll appreciate his silence.
(10) "That's not what the rule says." Yeah, we know.  Games are based on rules.  But don't be the killjoy who busts your buddy for taking an extra half-step before his layup.  Give a little, and everyone has more fun.
(11) "Can you help me move?" It's fun to move friends into dorm rooms, not into real homes.  If you have a job, come on: pony up for movers.  Then you can invite your friends over for a housewarming party.  You'll be amazed how much beer they're happy to carry in themselves.
(12) "I'm a good multitasker." No, you're not. Nobody is.  And as you peck at your blackberry under the dinner table, everyone is silently offended.  But at least whoever you're writing is enjoying a lousy e-mail.
(13) "When are you going to stop talking?" Maybe you're not saying it out loud, but we can all see it on your unengaged face.  If a conversation bores you, make it better by contributing.
(14) "You're wrong." Healthy disagreement makes you an interesting guy to talk to.  Dismissing someone's idea entirely makes you a radio yakker.
(15) "Call you back later, okay?" Men have a hard enough time reaching out.  Whhen your friends says, "Hey, I need to talk," he isn't being casual.  He's downplaying.  And whatever else you're doing can wait.
-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But
why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-That's enough, Nickelback.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

- Was learning cursive really necessary?

- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

- I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem.....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social insurance number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad
So I was supposed to have a dental appt today for a cleaning, but I cancelled d/t this whole flu thing.  The call went something like this:
Me: I need to reschedule an appointment that I have today for a cleaning.  I have the flu, and don't think your staff would appreciate me coming in!
Her: Okay, spell the last name.
Me: ****
Her: And the first name.
Me: ********
Her: Okay, I have cancelled your appointment.
Me: Can I reschedule it for a date that's more convenient for me?
Her: (pause) Okay, November 19th, you need to be there by 3:00pm.

Then she hung up.

Didn't give me a chance to respond, or even check my calendar.

I'm out of town that date.  WTF?

I haven't even had an appointment with this place, and I already think I hate them!
Okay, so yesterday, I started to get a little tickle in my throat, that by evening started to feel like bronchitis -- you know, that wheezy dry cough where you can just start coughing forever.  No fever - my normal 96.7 (yeah, i'm a freak).  This morning, not much changed - a little more wheezy, but didn't feel hot or anything.  I get home and BAM, 99.5 (+2.8 degrees).  2 hours later, 101.0 (+4.3 degrees).

So i'm not sure if it's bronchitis (sometimes ya get fever, sometimes ya don't) or the dreaded revenge of the slaughterhouse porkchop.  Docs are observing that with H1N1, most people experience all the symptoms at once... so if this is my bout with piggydeath, I'm damn lucky!

We'll see how this goes tomorrow.  I have a buttload of work to do, and really can't miss time, but I'm not going to be stupid and go in if I have a temp.

At least it's not during Christmas - I like getting the whole flu/cold thing out of the way early in the season.
anyone have david guetta's Pop Love

Okay, so I have no idea what happened to my CD of Pop Love... but it's frustrating me because I spent good $$ for the international edition, and now it's magically disappeared into nowhere land.  It's not @ work, not here, I didn't bring it anywhere to my knowledge.

So if any of you out in LJ-Friend land (or Facebookville) have any of the versions of this disc, and feel like being a generous soul, I would appreciate either a burn if you're local, or a download.

Okay, so the weekend is over -- it went by far too quickly, in my opinion. 

Andrew's bachelor party was great -- we went to some restaurant in Latham (Otis and someone's) -- great sirloin salad, and good conversation considering I was sitting next to 2 people that I didn't know at all (friends of Andrew's father).  We then headed over to The Comedy Works, where we saw some guy that is the warm-up act for the Rachel Ray show (gag, I almost vomited just typing her name), and Brad Williams, a comedian who happens to be a midget err dwarf err little person.  Whatever he is, he's HYSTERICAL!!!  Go search for him on youtube - you'll love it!
We then went to The Recovery Room, which closes at 12 on a Saturday night... WTF, and then Junior's.. yum rum punches!  Good times, low-key, nothing over the top, but definitely a good time.

Today, I was in a grey mood for a while... matching the weather, and just didn't feel right.  It certainly didn't help that I slept funny, and my neck/left shoulder was killing me most of the day.  I did get a chance to hang out with Dee after she & her boy dealt with some d-to-the-rama.  UGH!

We went to Starbucks, where I gagged down a really gross iced coffee with pumpkin syrup and skim milk.  Why is it that the nonfat pumpkin spice latte tastes great, but ya try and save a few bucks, and it's like drinking pureed roadkill?

Then we headed over to the SEFCU arena (formerly known as the RACC) at UA, where there was a "community expo" or some other title... It was basically a blood drive and 5 rows of community organizations peddling their wares (brochures) and asking for alms.  A couple of the rows were kind of depressing... walking down and being bombarded with breast cancer, autism, cerebral palsy, assn for the blind, and maybe even a charity for those affected by flesh-eating bacteria.  Yep, way to lift the spirits up!

So we wandered over to Indian Quad, where the staff were having a "Fall-a-palooza" or some silly title.  Basically, there was music, food, and a table for fun stuff to do related to a fall holiday (I saw yom kippur/rosh hashanah (sp?); dia de los muertos; Halloween; and maybe another one that I can't remember.  Then it was home time... just before the rain started.

Anyway, I just realized that I have to modify my planner slightly because tomorrow is my pass day... yay no work; boo having a ton of other things to do.  Pretty easy - just pawn some work stuff onto Tuesday.

My two main goals for tomorrow: replace the latches on the cabinetry so they actually stay closed (gasp), and work on my application for the Certificate in Nonprofit Management, offered at Rockefeller College (UAlbany).  It's a program that I have looked into before; it's only 5 graduate courses, but I'm going to focus on the management/fiscal aspect of it... at least that's the plan since I've never taken a management course in my life!  HA, it'll be great.  Anyway, the deadline is NOV 15 for Spring admission... wheee doggie!

Saturday 10-3
* Go out to buy fall decorations (yay, mums) w/ Ashley
* Dishes and other such chores
* 6pm Andrew's Bachelor party: location: top secret (hint, it involves a midget... err... dwarf... err.. little person).  and perhaps body paint.

Sunday 10-4
* photo shoot downtown, weather permitting (I'm contemplating putting some stuff up for a small gallery display, need more stock photos)
* shopping for wedding gifts and birthday gifts

Monday 10-5
* Workin' 9 to 5... actually 7-4:30
* complete application for certificate program.
* get hairs cut for the wedding; sorry kids, no mani/pedi... papa's got cash flow problems this week  :-P

Tuesday 10-6
* Workin' again
* Finish up my health education & outreach survey write-up
* finish the physician's guide to expedited partner therapy
* Finish up on the media campaign NYC review
* Finish the rest of the EPT materials


So the birthday plans have been set, and the invitations sent out.  Nate, myself and 13 friends and coworkers are heading out to the Envy Lounge in Albany.  I didn't realize that October 4-10 was Restaurant Week, so we're darn lucky to be able to get a reservation just 2 days before RW starts.  (Normally, places are booked weeks in advance, but they were like, 15? sure, we can make a table for you" (kaching, kaching))


So for all you Albanians, get your reservations in ASAP.  For more information, visit Albany Downtown BID


After dinner, some of us will probably go out to a club or something -- maybe Waterworks or OhBar -- to get our dance on and our drink on.  More info on that as it's planned - that's an open invite for locals.


So yeah, I'm pretty excited.  At first, it was going to be a small gathering of debauchery, but now it's kind of blossomed into a large cluster of debauchery.  I've never been out with my coworkers, so I'm really looking forward to it - we're a crazy bunch but we put the FUN in dysfunctional (... or is that F.U.)!

Other than that, it's a pretty crazy week or so ahead... so it's time to bring out the old planner post, compliments of


Saturday 10-3
* Go out to buy fall decorations (yay, mums) w/ Ashley
* Dishes and other such chores
* 6pm Andrew's Bachelor party: location: top secret (hint, it involves a midget... err... dwarf... err.. little person).  and perhaps body paint.

Sunday 10-4
* photo shoot downtown, weather permitting (I'm contemplating putting some stuff up for a small gallery display, need more stock photos)
* shopping for wedding gifts and birthday gifts

Monday 10-5
* Workin' 9 to 5... actually 7-4:30
* Finish up my health education & outreach survey write-up
* finish the physician's guide to expedited partner therapy
* get hairs cut for the wedding; sorry kids, no mani/pedi... papa's got cash flow problems this week  :-P

Tuesday 10-6
* Workin' again
* Finish up on the media campaign NYC review
* Finish the rest of the EPT materials

Wednesday 10-7
* Workin' yet again
* Have a happy hump day
* Work with Brigitte on the public health detailing mapping for Monroe Cty & Western Rgn
* Write contract language for 2010 bathhouse screening projects (shout out to AIDS Council of Northeastern NY, AIDS Rochester and AIDS Community Resources in Syracuse)

Thursday 10-8
* Workin' still... i think i can, i think i can
* Sign up for the continuing education seminars in November
* Research the state/PEF college course reimbursement program
* Get the tux for the wedding... lookin' dapper, if I must say
* Out with Carebear to celebrate the end of an era.  Farewell, 20's

Friday 10-9
* Happy Birthday, Nate & Michael
* Still workin'.... maybe I'll bring in cupcakes like mom used to do in elementary school before everyone got paranoid
* Make hotel reservations for Syracuse training in Nov
* Finish up Partner Services quarterly update/review
* Review Sept/Oct lit journals for new articles to share w/ counties and pro staff
* Prep for next week
* Partay like it's mah birthday!  It's time to rock out with your c*ck out, jam out with your cl@m out!

Saturday 10-10
* Rehearsal dinner

Sunday 10-11
* Dum Dum dah Dum.
* Reception
* Sleep off the Etoh

Monday 10-12
* Still sleep off the Etoh
* Detox like a mo'fo!




Put an X next to the states you have visited.
The average is 8; how do you match up?
(18... Pacific Northwest will be conquered next year!)
Should you choose to play, here's what you do:

Copy my note. Click on “notes” under tabs on your profile page. Select "write a new note" in the top right corner. Paste the copy in the body of the note. Delete my Xs and add your own. Change the number at the top, and add your title. Once you've saved, don't forget to tag friends (including me) on the right. Tag the same # of people as the # of states you've been to. Just for fun, put an O beside the states where you have lived. AIRPORTS DON'T COUNT.


Maine - X
Vermont - X
Massachusetts - X
Rhode Island - X
Connecticut - X
New Hampshire - X

New York - O
New Jersey - X
Pennsylvania - X
Maryland - X
Delaware - X
Washington D.C. - X

Arkansas -
Louisiana -
Mississippi -
Alabama -
Tennessee -
Kentucky -
West Virginia - X
Virginia - X
North Carolina -
South Carolina -
Georgia -
Florida - X

Michigan -
Ohio - X
Indiana -
Illinois - X
Wisconsin -
Minnesota -
Iowa -
Missouri - X

North Dakota -
South Dakota -
Nebraska -
Kansas -

Montana -
Wyoming -
Colorado -
Utah -
Idaho -

Nevada -
Arizona -
New Mexico -
Texas -
Oklahoma -

California -
Oregon -
Washington -
Alaska -
Hawaii -
I talked with mom today, about the house, how frustrating everything is, and whatnot.  I know that she's really not doing well - I could hear it in her voice as I said goodbye, that she was ready to cry.  I wish I could do more -- make the mortgage company and the home builders and the insurance companies all meet in some big happy rainbow and sunshine place, shake hands, pass checks, and *poof*, my parents would have the house that fire took away.  It has been... just under six months (25 Mar 09) since the fire, and they have gone through so much.

Like any family coping with and dealing with loss, we have all had our ups and downs, but my parents have been INCREDIBLE.  Their patience with the insurance company, then the mortgage company... both of which showed varying but significant degrees of ineptitude... it amazes me. 

Anyway, progress is finally being made, albeit slowly.  There was a hole for the basement about 1/3 of it's full size on Tuesday; I believe that the basement has been dug out fully by now, and the masons are coming tomorrow to work with the builders on the order.  That's a major step, visually.  We can't see the progress on the house because it's in some climate controlled, hermetically sealed bubble (probably on Area 51)... but to see the vacant lot all summer long... heartbreaking.

One note of humor - since the area has remained relatively untouched, some of mom's seeds from last fall's window basket germinated and grew -- she pulled a few gourds and pumpkins up last week.  Of course, she's horrible about taking pics and sending them to me, so you'll just have to take my word for it.

Anyway, back to the point of my verbal diarrhea... I was having a stupendous day earlier today - almost manic (between accomplishing many tasks to actually receiving a huge compliment from my supervisor).... but now I'm bummed... more than bummed -  I know that I can't do anything, but I feel helpless -- something that I'm truthfully not used to.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday.  I plan on coming home after work, working out a bit, and ruining my diet with a glass or two of wine, some food and a movie with the bro and Chris.